We Interview Stephanie Yeboah On Her Debut E book, Fattily Ever After

Steph Yeboah

Stephanie Yeboah, like most of us, has had a whirlwind of a 12 months. She moved into a brand new residence (cue Ari Lennox’s hit), indulged in self-care practices like enjoying Zelda: Breath of The Wild on the Nintendo Swap & working towards yoga with the assistance of Jessamyn Stanley , broke her ankle whereas touring, and wrote this masterpiece entitled Fattily Ever After: A Fats, Black Woman’s Information to Residing Life.

Early on, Yeboah knew she didn’t need this guide to be only a memoir, a glow-up information or a “suggestions and trick” tell-all. As an alternative, she mixed all of these components to create a historic, colourful, and intentional learn with the details, figures, and receipts to match. 

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I’ve written and rewritten this caption so many occasions, as there’s a lot I need to say, but can’t put into phrases. I can’t consider I get to carry this in my arms for the primary time. I can’t consider I wrote it. I can’t consider it’ll be on bookshelves in a number of months. I can’t consider I get to name myself an writer. I definitely didn’t intend for the trajectory of my life to take this route. I used to be presupposed to be a bored, depressing, over burdened and underperforming household lawyer, however alas?? I can’t look ahead to you guys to learn it. I’ve been crying all morning, that is surreal. Additionally YES, there shall be a Kindle model! Thanks Hattie, @tbpagency @kj_mistry @hardiegrantuk, thanks. 🥺

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Yeboah acknowledged, in an unique interview with The Curvy Fashionista, “I went into it realizing that I needed every chapter to be a combination of predominantly idea [while incorporating]  components of my life to offer context for what I used to be speaking about, and within the third a part of the chapter, I might do the enjoyable, proactive issues that individuals may do in an effort to assist them on their approach.”

She additionally included interviews with a few of our favourite plus dimension girls as a result of she stated, “I actually needed it to be like a treasure trove of data and experiences that individuals I feel can relate to.”

We Share An Exclusive Interview With Stephanie Yeboah, Blogger Turned Author Of Her Upcoming Debut Book, Fattily Ever After!

Diving into the writer route for Stephanie, versus being a blogger, social media influencer, and plus dimension advocate, racked her nerves indefinitely.  Nevertheless, it was the training curve and her embodying “the boldness of a mediocre cis-white man” that pushed her via.

I need to disrupt the established order. Stephanie Yeboah

With the plus business being “taken over by slim white girls,” she needed to have one thing that was for us.

She eloquently acknowledged, “Once we say the physique positivity motion was began partially by plus dimension Black girls, you’ll have the Karens and the Beckys saying stuff like, ‘Oh, however the place’s the proof,’ and “It’s for everybody,” and so forth. I used to be like, ‘No, no, no. I even have the receipts right here.’ I really feel prefer it’s essential that this stuff are shared.

And with regards to historic stuff, it’s so essential for context as a result of Black our bodies and Black fats our bodies have been dehumanized and handled like trash for hundreds of years. And we’re nonetheless feeling the ramifications of the way in which through which our our bodies had been handled due to our pores and skin coloration.

The guide I feel shall be learn by lots of people who aren’t in our demographic who need to study extra about what we undergo. It’s additionally slightly little bit of a historical past lesson for many who don’t seem like us, mainly.”

Being second-generation West African and rising up in a really conventional/conservative household, it was deemed unsuccessful to observe the inventive route of being a designer and creator.

Stephanie mirrored, “I’ve all the time had an enormous love of trend and I might really use my pocket cash to purchase copies of Vogue and Elle. I simply cherished the camaraderie and the drama of trend, however deep down, I all the time simply assumed that I might by no means have that sort of entry to those fashions. My dad and mom push us to do tutorial topics— legislation, finance, medication, enterprise— and since I used to be very quiet, meek, gentle and pliable, I simply went together with what they stated.”

By way of this resentment for lecturers, Nerd About City, Stephanie’s inventive outlet, was born. She felt she didn’t have the character for legislation or the search for trend college. So, Stephanie grew to become content material with working her administrative job and residing together with her then-boyfriend.

That was till she hit all-time low in 2017.

Fattily Ever After Fullsize Scaled

Up Shut And Private With Stephanie Yeboah

All through this dialog, which felt like we had been merely previous girlfriends, catching up on what’s taking place, we mentioned the resurgence of 90’s sitcoms on Netflix, together with which one impacted her essentially the most, the woes of courting together with fetishizing of all of it, what she feels is her life’s goal and the which means of fattily ever after.

The Curvy Fashionista: So 2017…

Stephanie Yeboah: I all the time credit score 2017 because the turning level for me as a result of it was most likely the worst 12 months of my life. A relationship ended that I didn’t need to finish. In the identical week, I misplaced the residence that we had been residing in and I misplaced my job.

So, I slipped again into melancholy in a short time, and moved again house with my mother whereas I attempted to kind myself out. It was at that time that I went onto welfare for a bit whereas I used to be searching for a brand new job. All the cash that I used to be getting I used it on photograph shoots as a result of I needed to maintain my weblog operating. It was the one factor that saved me getting into that 12 months of hell. 

If it was nonetheless a case of me being with my ex, I don’t suppose I might be the place I might be as a result of, with him, I used to be very comfy. I used to be similar to, oh, I’ve received my man and don’t actually need the rest. Then he went after which I used to be like, okay, so I’ve misplaced every little thing. I’m simply going to return to engaged on my weblog.

And now, it’s gotten to some extent the place I’m right here and I’m really residing the life that he needed as a result of he all the time needed to be a journalist and an writer.

To not be spiteful however… *laughs*

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That feeling you get when your guide is popping out subsequent Thursday. 😳😅 *exhales* Have you ever pre-ordered? It’s obtainable for kindle and audiobook too. I might actually admire for those who guys may pre-order, as they’re mega essential for first week gross sales, so I can go on to change into a Sunday Instances bestseller and retire to my cabin in Oxfordshire with my husband Chad and our kids Jonty, Barrold, Saffron and Karen. We’ll have a quiet life within the nation, with the children being homeschooled and Chad working as a contract photographer for in style native journal ‘50 Sheds of Gray’. I’ll go on to put in writing a number of extra books and churn contemporary butter, produced from my very own vaginal yeast, as I’ve rebranded as a #wellness #radicalfeminist now. The butter, referred to as ‘Vagerine’ shall be offered at an area farmers’ market close to me and can make me hundreds of thousands. So please, don’t deprive me and my future household of the approach to life we deserve. Pre-order! 😂❤️ Images- @sophia_spring_photography MUA – @neusa_neveslove_mkup Gown – @ukglamorous Nails – @joannanewboldnails

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TCF: I first found you as a result of your tweet had gone viral in regards to the $300 dare date state of affairs. And since that, I’m unsure how way back that was, however how has courting been like for you?

SY: It’s precisely the identical, woman. The one distinction now could be that I are likely to get acknowledged a bit extra on courting apps. So, any person will screenshot a trend publish or an article that I’ve written and so they’ll be like, “Oh, is that this you?” And I’m like, “Sure, it’s me.”

Then, they unmatch me.

Bizarre, I do know.

It’s fairly miserable at occasions as a result of as a lot as you could have folks round you saying, “Oh, Steph, you’ll discover somebody,” and other people attempting to hype you up. I do know that I can consider two issues directly. I’m an ideal particular person with so much to supply, however equally, I can even acknowledge that the way in which I look is a glance that not lots of males have a tendency to love.

The huge quantity of interplay that I get with regards to on-line courting as a result of in actual life, I’m by no means approached and I can’t strategy any person. On-line, it’s very a lot a case of being fetishized so much.

They assume that you’re dominant, and sassy, and hypersexual, due to the burden. It’s virtually such as you’re decreased to a pornographic class— the BBWs. And I really feel like there’s nothing fallacious with that. If these sorts of fetishes empower you and make you assured, that’s superb.

For me, there’s the dehumanization facet that I don’t like. I’ve by no means been approached by a Black man and generally it’s troublesome to have these conversations as a result of I feel once you’re a Black girl that tends to get consideration principally by white males, the neighborhood may be very fast to name you a traitor.

And it’s similar to, I actually don’t have a alternative in it.

I don’t have a desire and so long as you’re taller than me and have a beard, that’s it. I don’t care about weight. It simply appears to be the case that it’s principally white males that strategy me.

As a lot as I might like to date, it’s simply not taking place.

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(AD) I’ve seen a lady who’s free” … Rising up, I used to be an empty vessel. A shell of myself, crammed with nothing however insecurity, self-loathing and the opinions of others. It is taken a very long time for me to study who I actually am, uncover my character, my likes and dislikes, my sexuality and my identification, and I realise that I’m unapologetic, vibrant and most of all…free. Free to stay my greatest life. It is taken me some time to get right here, however I would not commerce it for something on the earth! The brand new collection Little Birds launches on out on @skytv tonight at 9pm and it resonates with me a lot, because it explores offers with matters revolving round like identification and discovering your self, while having enjoyable on the identical time. All 6 eps are out now, and I am tagging @enamasiama and @ettabond who I feel encapsulate the very thought of being ‘free’! Tag somebody you suppose this quote sums up too! #LittleBirdsCollective #LittleBirds

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TCF: With the entire resurgence of The Parkers, Moesha, all these ’90s sitcoms coming again to Netflix, how do you’re feeling about all that fatphobia that was so current again then? How did you’re feeling about it once you had been rising up for those who watched the present versus now? 

SY: I’m not going to lie, I didn’t actually watch Moesha as a lot, as a result of her character aggravated me a lot. I simply discovered her so insufferable. Countess Vaughn carried that present on her again.

TCF: Sure she did.

SY: I might actually simply watch it due to her. As quickly as The Parkers got here out, I began watching it. Are you aware what the humorous factor is that Countess wasn’t… I wouldn’t have referred to as her fats. She was thick. She was curvy, a suitable curvy. So, seeing among the episodes on YouTube, it was really actually disappointing.

I really feel like, once we speak about physique positivity, I bear in mind one of many feedback that I might incessantly get by white girls was ‘Black girls don’t want physique positivity as a lot as white girls as a result of your males such as you. Being larger is seen as attractive, and also you guys don’t subscribe to the usual of magnificence or no matter.’

I’m similar to, to begin with, fatphobia and misogyny are rife within the black neighborhood.

Sure, being thick might be seen as extra engaging, however it’s the kind of thick. It’s the Nicki Minaj-Megan Thee Stallion thick.

It’s not the Gabourey Sidibes.

There are nonetheless these requirements of magnificence that black girls really feel like we now have to stick to in an effort to be seen as fascinating in our personal communities. Simply the truth that they used to have such rife fatphobia on the present, it made me really feel rising up, that I have to be this enormous beast.

In the event that they’re saying all of this about Countess who was a US dimension, what, 10 to 12 or 14 on the very most, then how would folks react to me?

When she began The Parkers, that was the place I discovered certainly one of my largest form of idols/inspirations in Mo’Nique. Mo’Nique was and nonetheless is assured. She by no means let her weight maintain her again.

Any time any person made a fatphobic touch upon the present, she would retort again. She was every little thing that I really needed to be as a plus sized girl rising up. Within the UK, we don’t have any form of Black plus sized outstanding folks on TV, so once I was a teen, I used to religiously watch The Parkers due to Mo’Nique and Countess. 

They had been simply so unapologetic and free.

They took up area, and didn’t enable their weight to carry them again from something.

I bear in mind seeing episodes of The Parkers the place Mo’Nique was a cheerleader, and she or he was simply doing all of those superb issues.

She was so assured in her urge for food for Professor Oglevee.

TCF: And he or she had different guys going after her too. She went on a number of dates with totally different males all through the present. They confirmed her actively being like, “I don’t want you for those who don’t need me, I can go and be with any person else who really wishes me.”

SY: Seeing that she was being desired by these actually wonderful ass males, I used to be like, “Oh, perhaps someday I may discover any person conventionally engaging who would discover me engaging as properly.”

I feel she’s most likely a beacon for therefore many ladies on the market. Simply seeing Countess residing, and being a standard teenager, getting guys, partying, and being the topic of want, which I feel lots of plus sized girls and plus sized Black girls, maintain fairly pricey.

Having the ability to really feel wanted, needed, desired, and seeing that play out on TV is so essential for me. As a result of up till then, I didn’t see that occuring to girls of my dimension and my coloration.

TCF: Who would you outline your self as outdoors of the style world?

SY: Gosh. I’m only a fats black woman from South London who likes to rant so much about issues that I’m enthusiastic about. I’m any person that has used social media for the most effective a part of 15 years as a web based diary to course of my ideas and all the issues that I’ve gone via.

I’ve all the time seen writing as very cathartic for me. It doesn’t essentially should be actually eloquent. It’s only a approach for me to course of all the garbage that’s happening [internally] onto one thing, an inanimate object.

Exterior of trend, I’m simply any person that’s constantly combating for the voices of underprivileged folks to be heard throughout the plenty. As a result of I feel as a black plus sized girl, particularly once you’re darker-skinned, it virtually seems like we’re the worst of all worlds as a result of we expertise such intense discrimination and prejudice and all of this stuff at each stage.

So being a lady, being black, being fats, and being darker skinned fats— the misogynoir, the colorism, the racism, the fatphobia— it’s only a lot to tackle once you exist on this physique.

So yeah, only a fats black girl simply attempting to battle for our proper to be heard.

TCF: What do you’re feeling your life goal is total?

SY: I really feel like that’s one thing that I’m nonetheless attempting to work out. I undoubtedly really feel like there’s a type of advocacy concerned. I don’t need younger ladies to undergo among the stuff that I went via as a toddler. With regard to not having illustration, with regard to bullying, abuse, some self-harm, melancholy, psychological well being stuff, and so forth.

Once I see it taking place to folks, I get so, so upset. And so, I really feel like what actually drives me to maintain speaking and elevating conversations and normalizing larger our bodies, is that I need ladies and boys to develop up in a world the place they really feel accepted, and so they really feel cherished, and so they really feel normalized.

I felt like I wanted to do one thing for folks. That’s what I actually need to push.

For me, my goal is about attempting to assist create and transfer ahead the discussions of inclusivity and variety, and educate girls the best way to stay of their reality and never be certain by the shackles of this very patriarchal, capitalist society that thrives on white supremacy and this silly customary of magnificence. I need to dismantle this technique of attractiveness.

There shouldn’t be a hierarchy of attractiveness and want, in order that’s what I need to do. Everyone is worthy of being cherished, desired, revered, and handled with care, and in the mean time we nonetheless aren’t.

I need to disrupt the established order.

TCF: I like that. Lastly, what does “fattily ever after” imply?

SY: Fattily ever after is coming to that time in your life once you determine that you simply now not care about society’s opinions over your fats physique. It’s embracing the phrase fats and residing in your reality.

It’s taking the choice to like your self, no matter your physique sort, your physique form, realizing that you’re lovely, worthy of affection, worthy of all the primary human decency and respect that everyone is entitled to, and now not feeling like you need to carry out or make your self smaller for others’ consolation.

And say, for me, it’s only a case of …

Residing my fattily ever after is mainly residing my greatest fats life and never caring about what anyone has to say about it. We don’t have to clarify something to anyone. We will simply stay. And that’s how we must always all be.

I hate that being plus sized we now have to continuously justify our existence and proper to stay.

And so, I assume residing fattily ever after was simply making the choice to not try this and to stay for ourselves.

 

Ensure to take a look at extra from Steph at StephanieYeboah.com!

You possibly can decide up her guide, Fattily Ever After on Amazon.com!

Will you be studying her guide? Tell us you probably have already ordered your copy! 

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